“Nobody wants to allow you to be yourself on matters which are absolutely insignificant.” OSHO.
At first I did not get the quote. Then it struck me, who and what am I in the quiet moments before I become aware of myself.
I can remember the feeling and time and sense of what and who I was when I was in my youth.
That sense of immortality.
At the age of 54 I have a sense of running out of time.
Who am I now in the silent moments before I become conscious about myself versus that same sense when I was 20.
At some level there is an empty space. Where there was hope and passion.
I recently read that people in their 50’s are more happy than their contemporaries at age 40.
I have tried not being busy
I have tried being busy
I have tried to balance those
I have tried figuring out the “right” way to live.
In the end I think the best quote that sums it up is the age old Zen quote.
Before enlightenment chop wood and carry water, after enlightenment chop wood and carry water.