Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even … It means “bouncing back” from difficult experiences.
I have been quiet for some time, and one of the things that I have been pondering in that time is, what makes us get over things? What makes us succeed at anything because overcoming failure is part of success.
The more I read and the more info I get it tells me that one of the basic elements of Success is resilience.
So what does it mean to be resilient? How do we get it, how do we achieve it?
Firstly my common sense tells me that it is developed in overcoming adverse times as well as adverse situations.
So it looks at some level that it’s confidence in your abilities, confidence in your mental toughness. Because you know you have been through this before.
The American Psychological association says that “Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.”
Should that be true, how do we go about cultivating behaviors and thoughts that will assist us in doing so?
The following list by someone called Peter Slattery sums up a lot of what I think.
- Meaningful relationships.
- Personal power.
- Participation in your surroundings.
- A positive sense of self.
- Other people’s positive expectations.
These are all elements that help us overcome adversity.
I remember while I was going through an exceptionally difficult time for me on an emotional and financial level, the most important thing I keep telling myself was to just pitch up. If you don’t pitch up, nothing can happen. Subsequent to that I have come to view that time and that decision as a life saver.
Isolation and withdrawing into oneself does not and can’t work. One needs to reach out, touch other people in an emotional and relational space.
Our culture isolates us, keeps us from experiencing connection, overcoming adversity in a group context. I am a firm supporter of sport for young adults to hone their sense of competition and then with that sense of overcoming obstacles that might lead to the sense of self-confidence and resilience.
Overcoming the fear of failure builds the skill to try, to work with the possibility of succeeding, the more we succeed the more confidence we have. Resilience is built on that knowledge.
Men as a gender seem to be more risk taking than woman if we look at the insurance statistics, that abound with the high-risk premiums on males vs females up to the age category 30.
So resilience as a skill should be developed I believe at a younger age by overcoming adversity, but I don’t think you know how much you can do, can tolerate, can overcome till you are put in a place where resilience and hope are all you have.
In our sterile society where everything is a risk and everything is devoid of stretching your belief and your capabilities, people very seldom gets challenged to a place of strength and resilience.
Unless you go out and do it for yourself in whatever form or manner you choose to do this, you might never know.