This post deals with my daughter.
I listen to parents and their expectations of what they would like their chldren to be how they should be and what they should or should not do when they are adults.
It amazes me when parents are surprised when their children are not the way or what they wanted them to be as if we as parents have a choice in the matter. All we can be and should be is an example.
When my daughter were born I was very sure of how and what I am going to do to make sure she is who and what I could never be, but then one day I realized the folowing.
At the age of 35 she is going to sit at the pshycologist and complain about what a bad father I was.
That realization made me realize irrespective of what I am going to do to make sure she is and gets the best it will never be what she should,could or must have it will never be good enough. It freed me up to just be me and the best I can be for her.
They say the the only way you can see what effect your parenting has is when and what your children do when you are not present. that is where trust comes in.
She turned 13 this year and my and her exposure to the world out there is only starting.
With this in mind I have come to realize.
What I would like for you are ;
- to be whatever you want to be
- as strong as you need to be
- as loving as you could possibly be
- as nurtered as you you can tolerate
- as loved as you deserve
- as adventurous as you mind will allow you.
- to share much as you can share and then some more
- as indipendent as you can tolerate
- as smothered by people and love as you can take
- realize this life is yours, to do or be whatever you choose.
My role in this is at some level included in all of that its for me to support that what I wish upon you. I can now just accept your choices and should you value my opinion as always I will share it gladly, but may I never ever sit in judgement of what you choose.
Go forth and be.