Thinking about death might not sound like an appropriate thing to do. Lately I have been thinking about it a lot.
Not in a sense that I would like to end mine one way or another,but in a way of it is going to happen. One day ‘I’ will be no more.
Someplace I read the nice thing about death is that you dont know you are dead. So if one does not fear death becaus one is alive and wont feel it when it happens, what is it that concerns us about it. I have read the 5 things people on their death bed talk about and it very seldom relates to what we persieve a good life to be.
In the longest study about what makes male’s happy, friends and friendship and relatedness has scored some of the highest as what makes men happy, presumably its not much different to woman.
In most instances it seems our relatedness is what gives us happyness. Relatedness is also the stuff that makes good societies and families.
For most of my life I have had a yearning for relatedness to family or a special loved one in my life. and now I have after some critical feedback come to the realization, maybe what I want and what I can offer and have is 3 different things.
My mother after her second husbands departure was alone for 19 years and I could never understand why or how she could do that. I am realising more and more how that is possible. When I go into any form of relationship, I bring my kids, my time with my kids and also my bagage to that. Very few people are comfortable in dealing with it. I am selfish about my time my time alone and my time with my kids.
So being alone , by oneself and isolated makes one seriously consider do you really want to be in a relatedness with another person, would being alone not solve more problems and prevent a lot more.
SO back to death, Death and meaning of life and what constitutes a ‘right’ life always interested me. Religions and most schools of philosophy all have their version of what the ‘right’ way of living should be. BUT if you dead none of it matters. So maybe its not death that is the issue but life.
So if we all die irrespective of how good or bad a life we have lived why shouold there be this inherent drive to be better or be like some example of what other people think we should be.
So maybe in the end nothing matters, and if nothing matters why bother?
Like the Buddhists say, All life is suffering.