In the journey of life, we mostly walk alone. We are in the end alone. We die alone, our existence is as Frankl put it caught up in a Tragic triad of suffering, guilt and death.
What makes this for me so much more personal is that from a Buddhist perspective even life is seen as being meaningless.
We walk this road of life by ourselves, the best we can hope for in these times is someone to walk with you. Even if it is for a short period of time. So from time to time we get out of our shells and we ask someone to walk with us, albeit for a short time or a long time we never do really know when we invite them. It is then nice to invite someone to join you and they actually do.
In most western cultural driven societies invites mostly come from the male to invite a female to join him on that journey. The road is then embarked upon by the fellow journeymen, and it is noticeable how often these journeys are then ended by the female partner. For a variety of very valid reasons.
What has become more and more noticeable for me is that after a while both partners still together, walk different paths.
One day they wake up and they are alone and they can’t understand how this happened.
While on the journey maybe the female of the travellers must ask more often also for the male to join them in where they might be taking short detours. I think women take more regular side detours, males seem to be on more of a mission to get somewhere.
Looking back at some of my failed relationships a common theme emerges. Being a male and largely goal orientated I would have loved my partner to also now and then invite me. Invite me for that coffee, watching the slow march of the sunset at dusk.
It’s difficult to always be the one thinking of things to do to get to see you.
When you invite me I feel special, I feel wanted and its awesome for my self-esteem and confidence, you want me.
But I lose you I lose interest because if its just me asking it become an obligation, a task. Just another job. It’s as if I am alone driving us forward, to who knows where. And that day you wake up and I am gone you will notice it, you will wonder.
And on that day I will turn around and say to you.
But you never asked me.