So I went back.
I thought this time this time I will be able to make it work. Life does not work like that.
Life happens and this all while making other plans. She is an awesome woman. I changed, she changed in our changing beings we could not find place to let our love grow.
As she is fond of saying in her posts, she has a Boyfriend that stays 60 km away. She is right I do. I have become pre occupied with creating a business in fact by a strange coincidence two. When we decided we are going to try again my situation was of such a nature that I could. Shortly after our decision to get back a long time friend and myself decided to start a business. It entailed me working more hours and spending less time with her. She became demanding and withdrew into her own version of how life should be. Like I did probably into mine. Although I knew this is an temporary situation and things will normalize in time she decided now is the time to turn up the pressure of us sharing a space. She has two young children with an absent father. She wanted someone to share her day to day activities, not an unkind or unreasonable request. Me I am not yet there. So it lead to a place where I alienated her. She is right.
So what have I learned form this.
Sometimes love does not overcome everything and the hard grind of making love and relationships work becomes just too much to live with. I am as one can surmise from my previous posts inherently a loner.
I love her, I had plans, wanted to share things with her. Be with her wake up with her. Smell her in my nostrils. Drive to some exotic destination with her. I thought she understood my lonely part.
We have parted ways and in that I have Lost her and the value she added to my life.
I miss her.