In reading some advice on someone’s F.B. page recently on what the problem with relationships are I decided to put out my one cents worth on the subject.
The misconception for me is that there should or would be no problems in a relationship. By implication when you put two strangers in the same house and same life they should have issues. We cant expect it to be otherwise. Our illusion of love fixing differences is just that an illusion.
Our bigger problem for me than difficult relationships are partner selection.
That is the one thing we seldom explore and investigate. All of us that have been in one or two unsuccessful relationships and have some kind of analytic mind would have questioned how we could have chosen so wrongly. As such if we have been single a few times we should be able to recognize that we tend to choose the same kind of partners.
If we choose the same kind of people we will have the same kind of problems and it will start feeling like we are on a treadmill fighting the same kinds of fights just with different people. No amount of relationship advise will help if we keep doing the same kind of relationship just with different people or partners.
We need to investigate how we choose the people we do to go into a relationship with. Unless we understand that, we will keep on doing the same kind of relationships one after the other.
So the problem with relationships are not the person or the relationships, its in our selection of a partner.
The only and best theory that I have bumped into in my time investigating relationships is , IMAGO THERAPY . The basic premise being that we only choose the kind of partner that does what we know . That what our caregivers did not give us we go on choosing. Read up on it if you want to change your choices and relationships.
Anybody that struggles with relationships and find it difficult in understanding why their relationships are failing continuously should spent some time investigating how they choose the people they allow into their lives better.
So change your relationship success ratio with changing the kind of people you do relationships with. Relationships are not the issue the people you choose are.