A changing view on love.

Where has love gone to or what has become of love?

I have a sense that what we expect and what we require from love in our current era is different to what was expected from it 100 years ago. As dependency on our partner were higher 100 years ago and the paternalistic culture dominating our world view prevailed the following were frowned upon, divorce, single parent hood and independence. It was seen culturally contra the current values and norms.

In the modern era where the stigma of raising children by yourself has diminished  and as such set people free to raise children on their own the concept of commitment has changed. Also with women entering the workforce earning their own income and being less dependent on their spouses for an income, their willingness to stay in an unsatisfactory relationship has changed.

The traditional role’s that the genders had to perform in sustaining cultural expected roles and norms has diminished in marriage. Couples now are more  willing to change and adapt to new roles in the marriage. One hears about males becoming live at home Dads, where that would have been unacceptable a few years ago.

All of this has led to our expectancy of the longevity of relationships changing. Our expectancy of our partners has moved to a more needs based approach. As long as you satisfy my needs I will be in a relationship with you, when you no longer satisfy my needs I will be moving on to someone new that does.

The unfortunate result of this is that we don’t build love we expect it to be there with the the first laying on of the eyes. We should know by now that it is lust not love. Lust is important to create an attraction,. but attraction needs to move with commitment  into something deeper and longer lasting. Unfortunately in our disposable replace orientated mindset love has fallen victim to that mindset.

I hear more and more people complain on the lack of intimacy and maybe intimacy is something that is created in relationships over time and in overcoming obstacles together, as are Love.

So we are living in a time where commitment and hard work in relationships has disappeared and we are faced with a needs based love approach.

Maybe LOVE  has been a consequential victim of the changing times and changing cultural norms.


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