Acceptance vs. Understanding

Acceptance vs. Understanding

Having been involved with and  talking to couples and their lawyers in a divorce situation, a lot of what we want to do when we get divorced and hurt by the people we care about is to understand . We ask ourselves these questions on a continuous basis , Why ? Why me? Why now? Why am I not good enough?

The problem with understanding is just as it says, Standing under, By grappling with that question and wanting to understand, we make ourselves the supporter of someone else’s idea of what a situation should be like.  You want to be in their mind and understand why they did what they did, and that is an impossible task.

In the west we have and external focus in growth as individuals, by understanding what happens to me, I might get to grips with it. In this we postpone the possibility of learning and expanding our sense of reality in which we find ourselves.

In the eastern way of looking at things, one can accept what happens to you, look at it and create growth from it. It can become an instigator for change in handling the complexities of our reality.  The western mind can only grow and make sense of what’s happening one’s you have understood it. By doing it in this way,we don’t internalize, learn and grow from our experiences, we postpone it till a later stage when you might Understand it. If you never get to understand it, it can never serve as a growth opportunity for you.

Acceptance of what happens to you makes you the master of your reaction to situations. By “BEING” with what’s happening with you, one becomes the master of your destiny not the victim of someone else behavior waiting to UNDERSTAND it. waiting for permission to move on.

Understanding is a cop out, a method of delaying the reality of the current situation. Acceptance creates growth and mastery.

So the question become’s where would you rather live in the shadow of someone else’s understanding or in the light of your own acceptance and growth?


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