The search for a partner, communion, intimacy the idea to lose yourself in the other is one of the reasons we as humans go into relationships. We search for that in the other, we lambaste them for not being close enough not sharing enough. In a resent article they differentiate in your language whether you are angry or loving with your special person in your life. You wanting to bite them suggests a sense of anger while mentioning them that you want to eat them (in the literal sense) enforces this idea that we are searching for union for completeness for perfection in the other. we want to become one with the other. In deep meditative states we find the same happening we feel connected to everything and everyone. That sense of being one with the universe and everyone in it.
Our brain has a part in it that creates the sense of separateness from ourselves and our surroundings. In a convoluted way we are hankering back to that, back to that what separates us, that what removes us from our union with the universe.
Our search is for henosis, the balance , the unity the purification. we like to complete ourselves, as if there is a non completeness. That sense of non completeness is the functioning of our brain that makes it possible for us to operate as individuals in a broad universe. We want to remove our brain function with external stimuli , lovers , sex, stimulants , drugs etc, it is as if on a cellular level we recognize that we are one , we are part of a bigger unity we are not separate. Our experience of reality is what lets us believe that we are separate, and non complete and unbalanced. We look for becoming one, becoming intimate with our lovers and expect them to complete the union on our behalf as if they have any idea of how to. Like the emperor in Empire of the Sun we run around bumping into people on the other side of a sheet not knowing who and what they are and might be, but yet expect them to move from outside the sheet of separateness into us and just touch us touch our souls. Unfortunately when the sheet is removed and we are faced with just another mortal human being we recoil we separate again to find “the one” The search for the one is the search for unity of the self. Culturally and biologically unfortunately we have externalized the search for henosis.
The mind as the intro says are fearful of the aloneness of itself. In that fear lies our search for a partner a connection a someone to take away the separateness and aloneness.
That what we are searching for is that whats inside us.